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Reins to child’s life

Reins to child’s life

Love, affirmation, guidance, protection and limits: these are the necessities of childhood. When a child is raised with all of these things, they’re far more likely to grow into high-functioning adults with good confidence, self-worth having constructive coping strategies in difficult times.

Many parents enforce limits and offer guidance so strongly that a childhood of self exploration and independence is lost to control and sense of powerlessness.

This experience of powerlessness can lead to an extreme fear of being vulnerable or controlled in any way and can result in controlling behaviour patterns themselves. The child learns to control to get his way around. There have been many studies that infers that children who have had a powerless childhood end up being controlling adults because they see control gets things done and control puts you on top.

Powerlessness leads to children being unable to set appropriate boundaries in their lives. Along with the lack of boundaries, the powerlessness and helplessness of the situation often results in the child internalizing the negative feelings and being full of self-doubt and even self-hate – and as an adult with a tremendous loss of self-judgement.

Talking to a child, being a little lenient sometimes and yet having clear rules with rewards for positive behavior are simple ways to nurture a self confident inclusive individual.