Praising or over praising?
A real sense of self-worth is based on the skills they build for themselves and the true accomplishments they feel they’ve made. However, many parents have the tendency to build up their kids with false or exaggerated statements of greatness by Overpraising.
Overpraising can have some negative effects that include:
- Feelings of entitlement – they may expect to be given the best and praised all the time because they are the best. The world obviously is not going to satisfy these expectations thus leading to disappointments.
- Feelings of inadequacy – when praised too much for the smallest of things, they know it is fake. Also they know that whatever they do is going to get praised and hence become unsure of even their real achievements.
- Lack of interest- interest to achieve maybe lost for fear of not getting praised or because they are embarrassed over the praise they get or because they know the praise means nothing.
What is the alternative to overpraising our kids? The answer is not to stop complimenting them.
- Just take notice of something your kids like to do and offer support and encouragement that is realistic and appropriate.
- Avoid superlatives. It creates pressure to perform and does not acknowledge the practice required to achieve success.
- Compliment efforts and acknowledge their improvement.
- Encourage them to stick with activities even when they get hard, so they will be more resilient and adaptive and understand that success comes from hard work.
- Promote independence. Their work should be independent of your praise not dependent on it.